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If you knew the #1 holding you back, would you do something about it?

Read time: 6.5 minutes

I often share a joke with my clients and students

"I don't teach about transformation, spirituality, the mind, making more money, and everything in between because 'it sounded cool'…

…I am sharing everything I learned the hard way so you don't have to. I was forced to figure this shit out, otherwise I would've ended up dead or self-destructing along the way."

And between you and I, that's the truth.

I think you’ll relate to this haha.

Maybe like me, you didn't exactly grow up with the odds in your favor.

The people around you didn’t set you up to succeed and thrive in this modern world…

…in fact quite the opposite.

Now, I’m not saying that they did it on purpose - as they did the best they could with what they had.

And as they say ‘hurt people hurt people’…

…but now you’re left dealing with the aftermath, and like me having to figure it out on your own.

Somewhere along the way I was BLESSED and I do mean BLESSED to find the answer I had been searching for my whole life.

But first you need to know the questions I was asking before I share the answer:

“Why am I my own worst enemy?”
“Why are others winning and I’m not?”
“Why did the people around me growing up create so much chaos?”
“Why do some people live abundant, happy, and free lives while others don’t?”

…and I think the most important question I’ve asked:

“How do I get out of my own way so I can start getting the results I want?”

And this led me to the answer I had been searching for my whole life.

The #1 thing that holds you, me, and everyone else on this planet back.

Not lack of motivation.

Not external circumstances.

Not even skill or strategy.

So, what is it?

The deeply rooted beliefs we have.

There are several other words I could use to summarize those beliefs, for example:

Your programming, conditioning, or paradigm.

But in essence all of those mean the same thing.

A bundle of beliefs you have about yourself, others, and the world that control your life experience.

All of which (unfortunately) were installed into your mind during your childhood, and up until now you’ve most likely been completely unaware of.

Hence why we call the part of your mind that hosts these beliefs your ‘subconscious’ or ‘unconscious’ - because it is hidden in the background.

As the legendary psychiatrist and psychologist Carl Jung famously said:

“

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

— Carl Jung

What he’s saying is these beliefs in the background completely dictate the results and experiences you are getting in your life…

…which means you are the cause to every effect in your life.

Change the cause (your beliefs) and you change the effect (your results and experiences).

Seems to good to be true, right?

Wrong.

Einstein, Jesus Christ, Socrates, Alan Watts, and all great thinkers throughout all of history have agreed upon ONE thing:

We can change our lives by changing what we choose to believe and think about.

It seems simple but this idea is actually very complex.

So let's dive into these beliefs a bit more.

Beliefs about Ourselves

This can be simply summarized by 'how you see yourself'.

The way you see yourself determines your confidence, decisions, and actions…

…and a whole lot more as I'll unpack shortly.

Beliefs about Others & The World

This can be simply summarized by ‘how you see others and the world’ or also known as ‘your worldview’.

The way you see others and the world as a whole determines how you interpret what happens to you and around you.

At first glance, this all might sound too simple.

Just another mindset cliché.

But it’s not.

I’ve studied this almost daily for 11 years…

…diving into everything from psychology, theology, philosophy, physiology, and more…

…I realized it really can be simplified down even more to ONE thing:

The beliefs we have about, and the way we see ourselves.

Also known as our Self-Image or Identity.

“

You don’t get what you want. You get what you are.

— Wayne Dyer

The outer world is always a reflection of your inner world…

…in fact other people, and the world at large simply mirror you back to yourself.

Every result you’re getting (or not getting) in work, relationships, health, income, and lifestyle are a reflection of your self-image.

Your results and experiences will never outgrow your self-image.

As within, so without - Hermetic Philosophy

The plastic surgery experiment

Back in the 1960s, a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz made a discovery that would change the world of personal development forever.

He wrote about it in his book called Psycho-Cybernetics.

After surgically altering his patients appearance for a variety of reasons…

…removing scars and even repairing or reshaping facial features…

…one of two things would happen:

Metamorphosis

Some patients would emerge from surgery and experience a massive transformation.

The once-shy patient became charismatic, magnetic, and confident

The struggling business owner found themselves landing new opportunities and earning substantially more income

It seemed as if new character traits, talents, and results came out of thin air.

The physical change matched an upgraded self-image they created, and with that everything else followed.

Mental Conflict

Other patients didn’t have the same experience.

In fact, despite some having major physical makeovers…

…they went right back to the same patterns, experiences, and results.

Same insecurities.
Same limitations.
Same self-sabotage.

Even though the outside had changed…

…their self-image hadn’t.

Unfortunately they continued behaving as if their appearance hadn’t changed at all.

They mentally remained stuck in the past.

And that’s when Maltz realized:

“

It’s not what you look like on the outside that changes your life. It’s the story you believe on the inside.

— Maxwell Maltz

So, how exactly does Self-Image work?

Your Self-Image (Identity) acts as a Cybernetic Mechanism.

Sounds fancy… but it’s quite simple.

A Cybernetic Mechanism has everything to do with communication and control.

Think of it this way - the thermostat in your home.

Let’s say you set your thermostat at 67 degrees (personally I think that is cold, but my pregnant girlfriend would disagree lol).

Outside it heats up to 100 degrees.

What happens?

The thermostat picks up the deviation from it’s set target of 67 degrees, and kicks on your air conditioner.

Before long, the house is back to a crispy 67 degrees.

But wait! All of a sudden the temperature drops to 0 degrees outside.

What happens?

The thermostat picks up the deviation from it’s set target of 67 degrees, and kicks on your heater.

Before long, the house is back to a crispy 67 degrees.

Again - communication and control are it’s goal:

It communicates with the environment to gather data - and then ensures it controls the ‘tools’ it’s attached to in order to regulate back to it’s set target.

Your self-image is like a thermostat.

When life gets going really good and results pick up - it’s heating up.

When life gets going really bad and results drop off - it’s cooling down.

It will use your mind, nervous system, and the environment - any means necessary - to keep you in homeostasis with it’s settings.

It determines:

How much success you allow yourself to have
What kind of love you think you deserve
How you carry yourself in every room
And even how you respond to pain, failure, and opportunity

As mentioned earlier this self-image was mostly formed when you were a kid.

My upbringing fucked me up a bit, so my self-image wasn’t great - and it showed in my results and experiences - until I learned how to shift it using something called ‘identity shifting’.

How you can shift your Self-Image

Identity-shifting has saved my life, brought me great success, manifested my dreams, and broke the cycles I grew up in.

Now it’s your turn.

Start small, but start today.

Your 1st step is awareness.

You can’t change what you don’t even realize is running the show.

So here’s a simple exercise to start with:

Pick one area of your life that isn’t working the way you want.

Then ask yourself: “What would I have to believe about myself for this to be the outcome?”

Write down your answer, and don’t judge it.

You’re simply bringing it out into the light.

Now you’ll begin to notice the invisible script you’ve been living out without realizing it.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it…

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